Friday, 7 February 2014
"I'll give you a month's additional pay if..."
I'm sure a lot of women can relate to being treated in a sexist way at the workplace. This submitter's case is extreme...and a rare occurrence I hope. But truly... my heart goes out to her, I can't imagine what she must've felt like...after being treated like a commodity in a flesh bazaar. I mean the fucking audacity of this boss person....is beyond horrific. What kind of person does someone have to be... to even broach this topic with someone else? How huge of a fuckwad do you have to be to think this is a conversation that is ok to have?
To varying degrees, most of us women are treated like we're property..or objects...simply there to please a man...
In Pakistan sexism is accepted and commonplace, masquerading as 'culture'. So men worry less about consequences of saying such things. But thats not to say it doesn't happen elsewhere...I worked at a place here in Canada where the big boss man stroked tattoos on my shoulder very inappropriately, as well as running his finger along my ear (so gross, I know) --- and this was in front of multiple witnesses. Everyone, including myself just froze at the awkward inappropriateness of the behaviour. I was stunned and felt incredibly violated for days after...I never went to HR though, because I didn't even know how to put that into words...I was afraid of not being believed, or being perceived as a trouble maker. I did not want to lose my job and I never had direct contact with this man...so I let it go. I shouldn't have...but sadly I did. And that's what we often do....we shrink away from such problems - especially if the one causing the issue is someone in a position of power (and it often is). So so unfair of people in an advantageous position to put you in that spot.... had it been a co-worker I definitely would have filed a complaint. But the CEO....uh...I just felt lost.
Didn't stay in that job for much longer.
That was several years ago now, but I think I learned a lot from that experience. I'd like to think if I was mistreated like that again, I would speak out...no matter who it was. In fact that experience was one of many that motivated me to start blogging.
To the submitter; Please know that you are not alone in this. What you were propositioned with is awful. Do you think you would react differently if something similar happened again? I don't even know what advice to give you regarding this type of thing. I'm stumped really....especially in Pakistan.... what would have happened if you went to HR?
People are afraid to speak out because victim-blaming is the easier option for society. In all sorts of abuse cases, childhood sexual abuse, adult sexual abuse, physical abuse, inappropriate behaviour.... you name it... thats what we have to change. Everyone reading can help, by remembering that.
Till next time.... Ladies, please keep your submissions coming!